I’m not sure where I originally found these, but I hope you enjoy these headlines:
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that’s taking things a bit far!]
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]
Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothin’ lazy so-and-sos!]
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]
War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect.]
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?!]
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!]
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?]
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge [He probably IS the battery charge.]
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren’t they fat enough the first time?]
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks (No comment)
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy [That was generous of him.]
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again.]
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [I certainly hope so!]
Today has been a typical Monday, and I needed this as well as the wonderful words from the Washington Post.
In a couple of weeks, I’ll be featuring a post about those annoying filler words and terms we all resort to like “ya know?”